The Art of Getting Your Shtuff Together

Keepin’ it PG on that title.

But let’s be honest.

How many times have we all thought we’re going to lose it? Between work, kids, that guy that refuses to go the speed limit when you’re desperately trying to be somewhere on time, and that guy whose car has some strange attachment to your back bumper, an attachment that you’re waiting to just put a(nother) cute little dimple in your parking garage-seasoned car…

How do we keep from completely falling apart?

1. Let it all out. Nothing like a good cry to release all the emotion. There’s no sense in keeping frustration bottled up, though I do warn my fiancé ahead of time just so he doesn’t think I’m too crazy.

2. Breathe. In yoga, we practice dirgha — a three part breath that begins deeply in the stomach, rising through the thoracic cavity and up into the chest. Then, you exhale out through the chest, down into the lungs, and from the belly. It’s a very calming sensation, but it can bring out some anxiety (especially pre-cry session) so try to take comfort in a nice firm seat so you can fall back on something permanent that’s holding you up.

3. Don’t think about the next thing. Easier said than done, I know. Trust me, I’m the queen of planning ahead. Sure, it’s fun to think of the good times ahead, but it can almost make you wish away what’s going on in your life right now, especially if it’s not the best situation. Sometimes I catch myself looking at other apartments, thinking that living in another place could bring us something bigger, better, more something. I look at job postings on the days I get upset with the one I have. It takes me time to appreciate the now and even more time to accept it. It’s a constant battle, but I try to rest in the fact that I will be stronger for having dealt with whatever is being thrown at me.

4. Talk it out. I would never get anywhere without talking, even to myself. If my fiancé isn’t around to listen to me describe my many feelings, I look at myself in the mirror and explain where I am today. Flustered, irritated, sad… anything. We all know the right answers to how to get rid of these feelings. Our world is filled with “how-to” this and “de-stress” that, so listening to someone tell you what you may know is not everyone’s cup of tea. However, part of our problems result in our inability to annunciate our feelings. This is where we need to let go.

The art of getting your “shtuff” together is one that could be described, and has been described, a million different ways. My prescription could potentially align with that of others, but I do know one thing: we need to become more accepting of our feelings, of the fact that we feel as if we’re losing control. Accepting that alone is a large step, rather than ignoring it and pushing it away, only for it to come back with a more deeply seeded vengeance. Get all those feelings out, breathe to calm, acknowledge the present, and talk it through.